...this from Marcel Duchamp

"The question of shop windows [therefore]
To undergo the interrogation of shop windows [therefore]
The exigency of the shop window [therefore]
The shop window proof of the outside world [therefore]
When one undergoes the examination of the shop window, one also pronounces one's own sentence.  In fact, one's choice is "round trip."  From the demands of shop windows, from the inevitable response to shop windows, my choice is determined.  No obstinacy, ad absurdum, of hiding the coition through a glass pane with one or many objects of the shop window.  The penalty consists in cutting the pane and in feeling regret as possession is consummated. Q.E.D"

How about a little more Duchamp?

Question d'hygiene intime:
Faut-il mettre la moelle de l'épée dans l poil de l'aimée?

[Question of intimate hygiene:
Should you put the hilt of the foil in the quilt of the goil?]

and

Parmi nos articles de quincaillerie parasseusse, nous recommandons un robinet qui s'arrete de couler quand on ne l'ecoute pas.

[Among our articles of lazy hardware we recommend a faucet which stops dripping when nobody is listening to it.]